Golden Slumbers

I caught part of a report on MSNBC the other night about drowsy drivers and how dangerous they are. One deputy was quoted as saying that these sleepy folks are the same if not more dangerous than drunken drivers.

Whoa!

Sleepy drivers are dangerous. I know. I'm a tired driver. I have swerved across the center line because I was so tired I could hardly keep my eyes open. I have gone off the road because I once fell asleep behind the wheel. Luckily, I was going slow enough in a squall that I just bashed into a snow bank with no damage. I've been lucky. But the same as a drunken driver? With specific penalties for crashes that result from tired driving?

I don't think so.

You see, drinking and driving is an easy decision. If I choose to drink alcohol, that is my choice. Duh. No one forced me to do it, no circumstances existed that I had to drink before driving home. Drinking is a luxury, an extra. So, I have the luxury to easily say no to it. It's that simple.

Now, tired driving. It's not a simple choice.

Be real

First, I work nights because I have to. The newspaper is assembled in the evening and printed in the wee hours of the morning so you folks who have a normal life can read your morning paper before you go to your day job. Someone has to do it. That someone is me and my coworkers.

I could leave my job, but it's not that simple. I've tried to get spots on the day side, but have been turned down.

It's not that easy to find a new job with similar pay and benefits in an easy drive from my house. I can't just pick up my home and lives of my family and move in a second. That causes too many problems. Newspapers don't pay a lot, so I'm not going to make six figures or even middle five figures. Ever. And I have always disputed the capitalist theory of "free movement of labor." That's a joke. You ever move? It costs money.

So, my boss wants me in for a 12 hour shift. If my shift ends at 1 a.m., counting backwards, I need to be at my desk, ready for work at 1 p.m. I need to be awake by 11 a.m. so I can shower, have breakfast and make my lunch to take to work (I can't afford to eat out every day!). That leaves me 10 hours of sleep.

Now, take away time to be a human, to interact with my family, answer phone calls, shovel snow, go to the dentist's office, whatever. How many hours does that leave me for possible sleep?

Yeah. That's why I get 5 hours of sleep and am tired all the time. And then there are the days I work 14 to 16 hours.

Strange. I don't hear my boss demanding I get more sleep. In fact, I often hear my boss calling me in early, expecting me to show up on my days off and to work from home. I hear my boss telling me that if I don't work harder (and smarter), I should find a new job.

I once asked a publisher where I work if the company could spend a little money to buy a couch to put in the breakroom where people like me could go for a quick nap or rest if we were tired. No sleep tubes like in Japan. Not hotel-style accommodations. Just a couch like the ratty one in my college newspaper office where I would steal a nap on a bad night. His response? No. If you are sick, you go home. If you are tired, too bad, go home. Call someone to pick you up.

Yes, I'll call my wife at 1 a.m. to pick me up. She can wake up the kids, get them in the car, then pick me up. Then the kids can be tired in school and she can be sleepy behind the wheel when she goes to work at 7:30 a.m. Smart.

So, if a sleepy driver causes a crash, it's unfortunate in the least and a tragedy at its worst. It speaks volumes about our society. But a crime like drunken driving?

Thought: Once there was a way to get back homeward, once there was a way to get back home. Sleep pretty darling do not cry. ...

Backhanded compliment

Many of you know my lifelong struggle with penmanship, so I share with you a small success story.

My Spanish professor actually complimented me on my handwriting recently. She said she was grading papers and a friend passed by. This friend looked at the handwriting on the paper and said how nice it was and it must be from a girl because it's so neat. Ha! No. It was mine. Really.

A small victory. I spent a long time making the letters clear so my professor knew exactly what to mark wrong.

The struggle

I've had neatness issues with my writing from as far back as I can recall. I'm really lefthanded but write with my right hand. Seems I was persuaded (inch by inch, if you will) to switch from left to right early on in my life.

By the time I was in junior high school, my handwriting was atrocious. I recall my Latin teacher railing about its sloppiness. Even at the blackboard, I often had to rewrite my conjugated verbs (Sum, es, est, summus, estes, sunt, or something like that, right?)

In college, my geology professor chuckled at how I held my pen (like I was lefthanded, he'd say, despite holding it in my right. Did I have rocks in my head?) and handwritten letters home became impossible for my parents to decipher (except when I wrote, SEND MONEY. That was clear).

Even now, coworkers cringe at my notes and people who get Christmas cards stare for hours at the scribbles hoping for a Rosetta stone moment. All I can say is I'm happy for e-mail and computer printouts.

One of my daughters writes with her left hand and I'm glad no one has persauded her to make the switch.

Thought: The writing's on the wall. I just can read it.

Cheering up

One of my blog readers complained that things were getting a little depressing around here. Well, here's a few nuggets to bring some cheer into our lives:

-- We had some heavy snow Friday night into Saturday morning. We got 7-8 inches overnight. The drive home was a challenge because the roads hadn't been plowed, some of them were just a two-track, so I had to ease over everytime I saw oncoming traffic and toward the end, there were no tire tracks to follow at all. I was blazing the trail home through the snow in my Corsica through zero-visibility snow. I was sick with a fever and cough and did not look forward to shoveling the driveway before work later that day.

I got home about 2 a.m. and had to be back at work at 10 a.m. A typical shift. So, when I rolled out of bed before 8 a.m. with visions of cough medicine and Advil dancing in my head, I dreaded having to clear the walk and end of the driveway so I could get to work.

Hooray! One of my neighbors had used his tractor to clear the end of the driveway! John Joynson had even cleared the walkway for us! Thank you! This bit of neighborliness made the day brighter.

-- I mentioned earlier that Elspeth had broken her glasses. We took them to the eye doctor (Dr. Annis) in Douglas for repairs. The frames had to be sent to California to be fixed and arrived back here on a Friday. The eye doctor's office was closed that day.

Despite being closed, the secretary went into the office, got the glasses from the deliveryman then drove over to the elementary school. She called Elspeth to the school's office then made sure the repaired glasses fit her properly. No extra charge.

Wow! Now that's service.

Both actions are much appreciated and two small examples of why the Fennville area is a great place to live.

Thought: It could be worse. It could be raining.

Funeral music

Back in 2002, when Jayne’s dad died and a coworker of mine died in a kayaking mishap, I got to thinking about my funeral. I know funerals aren’t for the dead, but for the living. I sometimes even have my doubts about their use for the survivors, but I’m not sure enough yet of those feelings to disparage the whole process.

I got to thinking about how I’d like my funeral arranged. What if I could watch it from afar? This thought had consumed me when I was younger and I wrote several poems about it. After those incidents in 2002, I sat down and wrote my wishes for a funeral. They’re only advisements since, well, I’ll be dead and really can’t force my will on the living. My spirit will already be reincarnated by the time the funeral rolls around anyway. Maybe, if the wishes aren’t met, I’ll be the crying child in the restaurant where you’re trying to have a romantic dinner, or that guy with the cell phone at the theater. Hmmm.

Talk about an ego! I make the assumption I’d have a gathering and that people would come. Maybe it would be like Ebenezer Scrooge: A lunch must be provided or people won’t attend. I know free food draws newspaper people.

As an aside, I have joked at work that I’d die at my desk and no one would notice. They’d keep tossing faxes on me until I was covered. Someone might comment on the smell but then someone would say, well, that’s just Hayden.

Some things about my funeral are pretty easy: I want my organs donated to help other folks. My body is like a chariot, the old writings say, but George Harrison said it more modernly: My body is like a car taking me both near and far. So, the car doesn’t work any more. Salvage the parts for someone else and dispose of the rest. The driver’s gone. Cremation makes sense. Just make sure to remove the knives from my back! (Ouch! Had to add that for some of my coworkers)

I ask only a few mementoes be displayed. Lots of family photos would be great, but display few with me in it. I’ve never been comfortable inflicting my looks on others. I include a few books (“Ring and The Book,” “Nicholas Nickleby” and a 19th-century issue of Tennyson poetry) so maybe folks will want to read a little after they leave, and, of course, my bike. I reckon the survivors can add what they please. Maybe the Bills could add a Super Bowl win?

The Sounds of Silence

What I noticed about my 2002 note about my funeral planning is that I spent tons of time figuring out the music I’d like to have played at the funeral. No pipe organs here. I think that’s fitting since I’ve spent so much energy listening to and finding meaning in The Beatles (and solo), Yes, Moody Blues, Simon and Garfunkel, Elvis. Here are the highlights from the sound track I came up with:

The entire “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band” album. Greatest album ever made. It’s also all about squandered life and anonymous death (I’ll have a blog on that soon!). Not sure if I’m sending a message here. Follow that with the song, “All Things Must Pass” for obvious reasons, and my favorite Harrison songs, “Let It Roll (The Ballad of Sir Frankie Crisp)” and “Be Here Now” from Harrison’s “Living in the Material World” album. And, of course, the Bread song, “If,” which Jayne sang to me at our wedding. I still get teary thinking about it.

Oh, and don’t forget “Midnight at the Oasis.” Send those camels to bed.

Maybe this sound track could be for sale in the foyer to forego the costs of the luncheon. We won’t take checks.

Thought: There comes a time when all of us must leave here. There’s nothing sister Mary can do to keep me here with you.

Friend's funeral

Jayne and I attended the funeral of a friend Tuesday. This is the woman I wrote about last week who collapsed in the library and Jayne helped to revive with CPR and mouth-to-mouth.

It was a "perfect" day for a funeral, if there is such a thing. It was pouring rain and gray outside. Odd, really, because it's January. No snow on the ground and only rain from above.

I brought the full box of tissues. I cry a lot a funerals. Heck, I cry a lot anyway. I cry when Spock dies in "Star Trek II" and I cry in "The Little Mermaid" at the end when Ariel kisses her dad on her wedding day. I get teary in The Beatles song, "She's Leaving Home." Jayne makes fun of me because she caught me crying one day when I was watching the animated "Batman" series at 4 in the afternoon. Granted, I was sick and had a fever of like 500 degrees, but Commissioner Gordon had been shot was clinging to life in the hospital ICU. ...

So, of course, I cried at our friend's funeral. I held off until her son stood up and gave a speech about how he didn't mind being "a momma's boy." His voice trailed off with tears, so I had to join in.

It was nice to see that her family was surrounded by friends, that people could exchange funny stories and remember her impact on their lives with fondness.

Thought: There was never a time when I did not exist, nor you. Nor will there be any future when we cease to be.

Bright idea

Jayne thought I should write about this, though I am a bit ashamed to share it. I suppose it shows the coldness of modern society or just exposes my general laziness. Either way, it’s unflattering but illuminating.

We have two dogs – a hundred-pound chocolate Lab mix (mixed with dinosaur, I believe) named Milo and a puppy that is part beagle, part Pomeranian and always a pain named Mischa. Anyway, I let them out in the fenced-in backyard when they need to go.

Here’s the lazy part: I used to walk Milo instead of just let him outside in the back yard, but after I injured my knee, I stopped walking him in the winter. I’m afraid I’ll slip on some ice. Also, walking both Milo and Mischa is a challenge. So, I now let them out in the yard and sit on the couch instead of walking them around town.

Here’s the illuminated part: In the fall, we got new neighbors behind us in one of the duplexes. These people have a large white dog that they sometimes let run free (no fence) or put on a leash on their deck. Either way, it drives our two dogs crazy when it is out. Lots of barking, digging and yelping. And then the dogs don’t like it either.

So, there is an unwritten and unverbalized arrangement between us neighbors that has developed. When the folks behind us have their dog out, they put on their outside light. The light goes off when the dog goes in. Same for us.

Now, isn’t this pathetic?

I don’t know the names of the people who live in the duplex. I don’t know the name of their dog. They don’t know us. Yet we have, without a word being spoken between us, come to this lights-on, lights-off system.

Maybe in the spring we’ll get acquainted. Or they may be moved out by then. I think we’ve had two or three residents in that duplex in the last year.

Thought: A drop of gregarious, an ocean of misanthropic.

Children's fun

We took the kids to the Allegan County Children’s Museum over the weekend. We met some friends there and, during our several-hour visit, ran into more people we know. It’s a small world. I recommend the museum – it’s fun at a good price.

Jayne and I are becoming veterans of children’s museums. We’ve been to the sites in Indianapolis (best we’ve been to), Buffalo (actually in East Aurora), St. Joseph and Grand Rapids. All have their strong points.

Area

The St. Joseph facility – The Curious Kids Museum – is right on the shores of Lake Michigan overlooking a beautiful park. The museum is two stories and has a cool nautical display and a model of a railroad swing bridge to play with. The girls love the volcano slide that rumbles and “erupts.” They just run around yelling, “Hot lava! Hot lava!”

The Grand Rapids Children’s Museum is the largest in the area. It has a full stage for dress up and plays, a special area for the really young kids and some great hands-on activities. It does have the full-body bubble-making apparatus – a ring you step in that will encase you in a soap bubble. I couldn’t tear Elspeth away from the piano. Also, the museum hosts special exhibits. The girls enjoyed the “Arthur” exhibit based on the PBS show.

Closer to home

The weekend trek was our first visit to the Allegan County Children’s Museum. The museum just opened over the holidays. It’s right in downtown Fennville, just a few blocks from our house. I love the location (202 E. Main St., across from Village Market). It’s in a temporary site now and fundraising is under way for the new facility just around the corner. The plans for that look great (there’s going to be a Mount Baldhead theme that looks interesting).

There are lots to keep the youngsters busy. There’s a climbing area – kind of like those playlands at fastfood restaurants, or a hamster cage with tubes and a slide – and an active area about disabilities with real wheelchairs, crutches and walkers that can keep the more active kids entertained. The kids do get a taste of what it’s like to have disabilities when they try to maneuver those wheelchairs up a ramp. There’s a bubble table, magnets and a table for blocks, also, a small stage for hand puppets and a sand table.

A music room is in the back where kids can play xylophones, percussion and an accordion. A small second level (three or so stairs) has exhibits on light and color.

There’s also a Native American wigwam. It’s similar to the one at The Outdoor Discovery Center in Fillmore Township, but this is, obviously, inside and cleaner to folks to climb inside and investigate.

I was pleased with the temporary site. It was clean and well organized. I can’t wait for the permanent home to be built.

The museum is open 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Tuesday through Saturday; 2 to 5 p.m. Sunday. It’s $3.50 per person.

Even if you’re an adult, I recommend stopping in to check it out. There are other places in town to visit, including The Journeyman Café, an art gallery, more restaurants and the library. One of my former coworkers was at the children’s museum with his granddaughter and said they made a stop at the New Richmond Bridge park and were heading to Crane’s for doughnuts.

Lots to do in the Fennville area.

This, that and the other things

Here's a few things worth catching up on:

-- Jayne and I are back in Spanish class. This is our second semester of the intense program. In class, we must speak only Spanish. Following the instructor takes some getting used to.

-- Elspeth broke her glasses earlier this week. She was at the dinner table and started to pull them off, then SNAP. She was in a panic even though it wasn't her fault. I think she saw the scene in "A Christmas Story" where Ralphie says the worst thing that can happen to a kid is to break his glasses. Amen.

-- Jayne's car has been in the repair shop all week to fix a damaged fender. Something smacked it pretty good, leaving a nasty scar. We got the car back yesterday. I thought we would do fine down one car, but I was wrong. With the kids in school (they don't take a bus because we're "schools of choice," so we must drive them) and Jayne and I on different work schedules, it was taxing getting around. There is no public transport in Allegan County. This was a good practice and a reality check because I was hoping to get rid of one of the vehicles and save an insurance payment.

-- I'm still dealing with my internal disappointment of not getting the promotion I (stupidly) expected at work. The announcement came last week. I won't bore you, or risk the legal action, that would come with relating the months-long episode. Someday I'll share, but not now. My ego won't let me see clearly yet. Anyway, this ties in to the car thing.

I was putting the cart before the horse with this promotion, thinking I could be on the day shift and off weekends for the first time in 15 years. This would have allowed us to drop one car because Jayne and I would be on comparable schedules and could share rides. Also, in May through September, I could bike ride to work. This truly excited me because I've always wanted to have this option. Now I could ride to work, but riding home at 1 a.m.? No thanks. It's dangerous enough in a car.

Thought: Work done with anxiety about results is far inferior to work done without such anxiety, in the calm of self-surrender. Seek refuge in the knowledge of Brahman. They who work selfishly for results are miserable.

Sad update

Jayne's friend whom I wrote about in the last entry passed away Tuesday night at Holland Hospital.

Jayne is very upset but is handling the stress well. I think once she sees her friend's children (they're coming in from Europe today) she'll really break down. Then I will.

Sad news from Jayne's work

It has been a somber time. Jayne is losing a good friend from work under traumatic circumstances.

On Friday, Jayne's friend, who is a professor at the university, was found unconscious by coworkers on the library floor. She was blue and bleeding from her nose. Jayne called 911 and did CPR and mouth-to-mouth to revive her until the emergency personnel arrived.

Jayne accompanied her friend to the hospital and contacted her family, who is spread outside Michigan. Two of her children are in Europe. Jayne also made sure her friend's house and dog were taken care of.

The future is not good for Jayne's friend and doctors don't expect her to survive. Our thoughts are with her and her family.

The event is sad. I am proud of how Jayne reacted to the tragedy -- her strong devotion to good friends. Jayne has a large and giving heart that is breaking.

Animated comments

I wrote about “The Incredibles” in a recent entry and that got me thinking about the cartoons on TV that my kids watch. There are good and bad.

Here’s the top 5 of the good:

1: “Arthur” on PBS. The show is witty and makes family and school issues relevant for many ages. I love the episode told from the point of view of the dog, Pal, and baby, Kate. Sometimes DW is too annoying, but those times are rare. Check out pbskids.org.

2: “Backyardigans” on Nick. This is really for young children, but it’s fun to watch as an adult as well. The computer-generated graphics are sharp and the songs fun and memorable. The characters (animal figures) play in their back yards but imagine a bigger world. The show teaches lessons on sharing, listening and respect. The Yeti episode is my favorite. Look on www.nick.com.

3: “Jimmy Neutron Boy Genius” on Nick. Computer graphics and absurd fun with science. True, the characters fly through space without oxygen helmets and in blatant disregard to physics, but the show illustrates that science must be balanced with intangibles like family love, friendship and respect.

4: “Danny Phantom” on Nick. Danny stumbled into ghost powers that he must balance with normal life. The struggle here is a literal manifestation of the adolescent changes Danny is going through as a ninth-grader.

5: “Fairly Odd Parents” on Nick: A 10-year-old boy gets fairy godparents because of his evil babysitter, Vicky. The show teaches that everything has repercussions, something like dropping the stone in the pond and not knowing where the ripples touch. The show does have annoying moments, but I can get past them.

Honorable mention: “Kim Possible” on Disney gives a strong, positive female role model (www.disney.go.com/disneychannel/index.html); “Avatar” on Nick is drawn too much like Anime, but it shows how people grow, change and deal with problems they often create; “All Grown Up” on Nick is the “Rugrats” about a decade later and it’s smarter and less gross than its originator; and “Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends” on Cartoon Network (http://www.cartoonnetwork.com) is odd enough to make my radar and has some good lessons about friendship and responsibility. The animation took some getting used to.

Guilty pleasure: “Catscratch” on Nick is funny, but it has few redeeming qualities. One of the cats (Mr. Blick) is just selfish and mean and the other (Waffle) kind of stupid. I just love how the third cat (Gordon) refers to the person he has a crush on as “Human Kimberly.”

Avoid: These cartoons are terrible: “Hey, Arnold” on Nick is full of unresolved conflicts, anger and examples of bad relationships; “The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy” on Cartoon Network is dreadful. The Grim Reaper lives with these two children, who are gross and nasty. It’s just stupid.

Oddly enough, Cartoon Network during the day lacks good animated shows for kids. This network is populated by violence, grossness and disrespect. At night, I admit I watch “Adult Swim,” especially “Family Guy,” “Futurama” and “Robot Chicken,” but this is not for kids and I see it as a seedy kind of fun, like watching “South Park.”

Thought: Draw your own conclusions.

Spam, spam, spam and eggs

I'm sorry to all the people who got spammed thanks to my stupidity.

I was having a bad computer day Tuesday.

First, I had trouble ordering a CD with a gift card from Barnes&Noble. If I didn't screw up the password or mistype the 500 numbers on the card itself, I lost the connection to the site or got easily distracted by other offerings. I'm like an ADHD kid in a candy story on these Web sites.

Second, my youngest daughter wanted to print out some activities from the Nickelodeon site. No biggie. I thought they were black and white, but they turned out to have color in them. That just drained the printing ink supply.

So, by the time I checked out this e-mail that said it was from my college alumni group, I was brain-fried. I didn't open it, but just clicked on it so the first five or so lines would appear in a view window. Well, it automatically replied to sender so it turned out I spammed like a million people.

Worse still, I started getting mean and insulting e-mails from these recipients. Like the real spammer would put his home address on the message -- just like a vandal puts his name on the brick that flies through a store window! Geez, people. Chill out and don't threaten me with lawsuits you can't possibly file. Please.

So, I'm sorry. I have egg on my face.

Thought: Pay attention. There's going to be a test later.

Incredible "Incredibles"

Last night was a family movie night around our house and, for a change, I chose the movie. No "My Little Pony" or "Care Bears" this time. I picked "The Incredibles."

This has quickly become one of my favorite Disney films, though nothing has yet to replace "Little Mermaid."

What I like about "The Incredibles" is the many levels the film works on. My kids like it because it's visually exciting. I like the graphics, the mix of 1950s-style industrialism (who lifts locomotives but the old Superman?) and current sci-fi feel (pass cards for security, a monorail and multi-stage rockets).

The humor is a hoot. I love the argument Frozone has with his wife, let alone the entire blacksploitation humor of Frozone himself! Once I picked up on "Fro" as "afro" and the whole "cool" thing, I just laughed. Edna is hilarious and important as the force needed to push Helen into seeking her husband. And, of course, the "No capes!" is classic.

The characters

But it's the symbolism that fascinates me. The film opens with interviews of the superheroes. Mr. Incredible talks about just living a normal life, but, come to find out, he hates the average life. He says he works alone (thus the "I" in Incredible) but needs to have others' help. Elastigirl talks about being in charge and taking action, but later she is the passive housewife. And, of course, she needs to be "more flexible."

The kids? Violet (as in shrinking Violet) hides behind her hair and uses her invisibility to shrink from attention, but realizes later to be outgoing. I like how she changes her hair, showing her confidence. She also becomes more aggressive with her force field, using it not only as defense but also actively. Dash puts his frustration into pranks, but later learns to control his energy because he knows that, undisciplined, he can hurt himself and others.

And Syndrome? He warps Mr. Incredible's words of "Be true to yourself" into a megalomaniac thing. He is driven by revenge and hatred, leading to his destruction, while the Incredibles are driven by love and dedication to family. Syndrome uses Mirage as a tool to an end (there's obviously a relationship between the two), while Mr. Incredible learns to work with his family and balance the fear of losing them with the reality of their unique abilities. Also, Syndrome is of Mr. Incredible's own creation. Mr. Incredible was too selfish at the time to see Buddy's needs and brushed him aside.

There's some sexual energy throughout the film that the kids don't catch ... yet, and the scene where Helen's plane is attacked by missiles is intense and emotional.

There is a hint of Ayn Rand's "Atlas Shrugged" here when Syndrome shares his master plan of making everybody super so no one is really super, and that bothers me, but this movie is not a political blue print. It's entertainment.

I still enjoy "Finding Nemo" ( a good film about a dad and child relationship), love "Toy Story" and "Toy Story II" (though Jessie's song still makes me cry!) and rank "Aladdin," "Sleeping Beauty" and "Cinderella" high on my list, but the symbols in "The Incredibles" seem to be the deepest Disney has offered as of late.

Thought: Act Naturally.

A walk in the woods

Happy New Year.

No big celebrations here, no drunken parties or assorted debauchery as in the old days. Jayne and I stayed up to watch the ball in Times Square drop -- I was saddened by time's ravages on Dick Clark. Then I went to bed and Jayne did a little computer work.

Today, I took advantage of the "warm" weather (upper 30s) and gray skies and took the girls for a hike in the dunes. We went to Sanctuary Woods on 66th Street just south of 32nd Street in Laketown Township. It's an easy hike, though the many stairs to the top of the dunes is a challenge, especially for an kids 8 and 6.

The girls sang songs from the cartoon "The Backyardigans" as we marched along the trail ("In to the thick of it. ..." and "We've got the whole wide world in our yard to enjoy ...). The view of Lake Macatawa and the channel are breathtaking. We didn't make it all the way to Lake Michigan because the little legs were tiring fast.

Back at the trailhead I showed the girls the old railway path and bridge for the Interurban railway. The train used to run to the resorts and the lakeshore before World War II.

It's always an enjoyable hike and a change for the girls. I usually take them to the Saugatuck Township park with the trail along the Kalamazoo River. It's scenic and easy walking, but I felt the need to see the lake.

Not-so-fast food

After our walk, I was persuaded (by whining) to stop at the Saugatuck Burger King. Heck, the girls deserved a snack after more than an hour of nature walking. I should have known better. This is the world's slowest fast food place.

It doesn't matter what time of day or how busy it appears, the darn place is sloooooow and disorganized. I think it took us 25 minutes to get two kids meals -- that was after we ordered.

Thought: Would you like an apple pie with that?