Golden Slumbers

I caught part of a report on MSNBC the other night about drowsy drivers and how dangerous they are. One deputy was quoted as saying that these sleepy folks are the same if not more dangerous than drunken drivers.

Whoa!

Sleepy drivers are dangerous. I know. I'm a tired driver. I have swerved across the center line because I was so tired I could hardly keep my eyes open. I have gone off the road because I once fell asleep behind the wheel. Luckily, I was going slow enough in a squall that I just bashed into a snow bank with no damage. I've been lucky. But the same as a drunken driver? With specific penalties for crashes that result from tired driving?

I don't think so.

You see, drinking and driving is an easy decision. If I choose to drink alcohol, that is my choice. Duh. No one forced me to do it, no circumstances existed that I had to drink before driving home. Drinking is a luxury, an extra. So, I have the luxury to easily say no to it. It's that simple.

Now, tired driving. It's not a simple choice.

Be real

First, I work nights because I have to. The newspaper is assembled in the evening and printed in the wee hours of the morning so you folks who have a normal life can read your morning paper before you go to your day job. Someone has to do it. That someone is me and my coworkers.

I could leave my job, but it's not that simple. I've tried to get spots on the day side, but have been turned down.

It's not that easy to find a new job with similar pay and benefits in an easy drive from my house. I can't just pick up my home and lives of my family and move in a second. That causes too many problems. Newspapers don't pay a lot, so I'm not going to make six figures or even middle five figures. Ever. And I have always disputed the capitalist theory of "free movement of labor." That's a joke. You ever move? It costs money.

So, my boss wants me in for a 12 hour shift. If my shift ends at 1 a.m., counting backwards, I need to be at my desk, ready for work at 1 p.m. I need to be awake by 11 a.m. so I can shower, have breakfast and make my lunch to take to work (I can't afford to eat out every day!). That leaves me 10 hours of sleep.

Now, take away time to be a human, to interact with my family, answer phone calls, shovel snow, go to the dentist's office, whatever. How many hours does that leave me for possible sleep?

Yeah. That's why I get 5 hours of sleep and am tired all the time. And then there are the days I work 14 to 16 hours.

Strange. I don't hear my boss demanding I get more sleep. In fact, I often hear my boss calling me in early, expecting me to show up on my days off and to work from home. I hear my boss telling me that if I don't work harder (and smarter), I should find a new job.

I once asked a publisher where I work if the company could spend a little money to buy a couch to put in the breakroom where people like me could go for a quick nap or rest if we were tired. No sleep tubes like in Japan. Not hotel-style accommodations. Just a couch like the ratty one in my college newspaper office where I would steal a nap on a bad night. His response? No. If you are sick, you go home. If you are tired, too bad, go home. Call someone to pick you up.

Yes, I'll call my wife at 1 a.m. to pick me up. She can wake up the kids, get them in the car, then pick me up. Then the kids can be tired in school and she can be sleepy behind the wheel when she goes to work at 7:30 a.m. Smart.

So, if a sleepy driver causes a crash, it's unfortunate in the least and a tragedy at its worst. It speaks volumes about our society. But a crime like drunken driving?

Thought: Once there was a way to get back homeward, once there was a way to get back home. Sleep pretty darling do not cry. ...