Roast duck

We get birds in our fireplace.

No, we don't have mesh over the top. That was removed several years ago when we planned on fixing the chimney. The money, though, went up in smoke, so our fireplace sits cold and empty -- except for the birds.

Starlings will often tumble down the chimney like some dwarf feathered St. Nick. We block off the back room, open a window and chase the bewildered beast out of the house.

So, black birds, starlings and sparrows are normal fare. The other night when I got home from work, I was informed that we had another beaked visitor.

Annoyed, I started the process of getting the clumsy fowl out before it killed itself or the dogs got it. To my surprise, this bird was pretty big. When I got hold of it, it stuck its neck out and the flat bill was obvious as it nipped at the air.

It was a duck.

After I let it go in the great outdoors, I watched it fly off, looking like the ducks down by the river who swarm when I bring the bread crumbs.

And, yes. I have a witness. My wife saw the whole thing.

Thought: Home ownership isn't all it's quacked up to be.