It blows

Couldn't resist the header -- it's a reference to both a "Simpsons" moment (the air conditioner store Homer goes to on a hot summer day) and "Moby Dick."

I recently finished Melville's classic. I had not read it in its entirety before and, on urging from a co-worker, thought I'd try it.

The novel is a great read. The opening chapters are hilarious with the descriptions of Quequeg's meeting with the narrator, though I could do without the vivid descriptions of how a whale was sliced apart. Well, I'm so much the wiser.

The foreshadowing and eerie description of Ahab forging his own harpoon tempered with blood are intense. The chapter on Starbuck's choice not to kill Ahab with a gun shot has depth into the human psyche and a somber realization of fate.

I was uncomfortable with the descriptions of ethnic minorities, especially African Americans. I just am too much a modern man to handle those 19th-century attitudes.

Sinking feeling

As I read "Moby Dick," I tried to find parallels to my current employment situation, but, I admit, even I couldn't find much there, except that sinking feeling.

I'm still having a hard time assimilating to my demotion. Again, I am grateful to have a job in this terrible economy, but the pay cut and the shock to my ego were pretty intense. I had a major meltdown last week where I just sat on the end of my bed and sobbed out of frustration and self-pity (a mix surely to give me a hangover) at the thought my job was given to a younger, less experienced person. After years of being told in reviews and by supervisors (and believing them) that I was good at copy editing and managing and presenting news, to suddenly be relieved of that, well, it just hurts.

I did speak with some company folks, but I don't think they understood my emotions at being pulled aside, told to leave my desk (my replacement was immediately moved into it; just a desk, but the symbolism is right there), leave the office, not come in; to leave some people I have worked with for 17 years, people I interacted with daily, and now to be seen as awkward, marked kind of like a leper walking among them. I believe the higher-ups think me ungrateful (which I am not) and complaining (I do whine a lot, I admit that), but I do thank them for this chance to continue working in a field I have been devoted to for more than two decades.

But it's not all bad (really, I am grateful to have a job. Have I said that enough?)

On the good side, I really do enjoy meeting and talking with my sources. People are fantastic in Saugatuck-Douglas and Fennville area. Folks have been patient with my questions and understanding and helpful. That has kept me buoyed as I'm tossed about in this confusing ocean (hey, there's another "Moby Dick" reference!).

Also, my family has been super supportive as have some friends -- thanks, Jeff, for the encouraging comments!

I suppose as I come to grips with my drop in status (oh, ego, you are mighty! Another "Moby Dick" reference. Man, they are everywhere), drop in pay and increase in expenses (mileage, phone bills, computers, whale blubber -- oh, wait. ... ), I'll be the better person for it.

As Monty Python reminds us (no whale reference here): Always look on the bright side of life.