Bank visit

A story to lighten your day:

My wife asked me to drop off some deposits for her Girl Scout troop and a message to the customer service representative at the Macatawa Bank in Douglas the other day.

The Macatawa Bank is not our personal bank, so I'd never been in the building in Douglas before. My wife suggested just going through the drive-thru, but I wanted to see the interior.

Rain was pouring down when I arrived so I was nice and drenched by the time I got into the cathedral-like lobby (banks always try to intimidate customers). I approached the teller who had never seen me before. I handed her the deposit then said to her:

-- I also have a note here ...

Her face turned pale and her eyes widened. I got the meaning right away.

-- No! No!, I said. It's for Becky in customer service! It's about the Girl Scout account! See!

She read it with one eye still on me and, I'm sure, her finger hovering over the secret red alarm button.

She took the note and shoved a receipt in my direction. She didn't even tell me to have a nice day.

So, the moral of the story: Don't pass notes to bank tellers.

History lesson

For those of you who don't know the origin of the word "Macatawa," it's a sham.

Back in the 1930s, when the area tourism industry was booming, the local resort owners got together and decided that having an inland lake that connected to Lake Michigan called Black Lake was not exotic enough. Tourists wouldn't come to a lake with such as bland name, so they took the local Native American word "Macatawa" instead. It basically means "black lake."

Thought: Things aren't what they always seem to be.

Things not to talk about

I try not to dicuss certain topics with my wife that I know we disagree on. It's not keeping secrets. It's just a matter of not stirring up the pot when we know neither of us will change our minds, so why do it?

Well, I disregarded this twice in the last few days, but I do love to talk about these topics.

Religion

First, I blathered on about religion. Never a good idea. I was so angered by something (I think it was the pope's ruling on unbaptized children and limbo -- talk about stupidity!) that I started on my tired tirade about Christianity.

What I dislike about Christianity (and Judaism and Islam, too) is that the religion says there's only one way to spiritual enlightenment -- their way. For Christians, it's Jesus or bust. No room for anything else.

The worst part is that Christians insist on spreading their word and steamrolling other cultures and beliefs. I've often said that the many "evangelical" trips local churches make are just religious imperialism. I also compare Christianity to the Borg from "Star Trek: The Next Generation."

My thought is that each person finds his or her own way to spiritual enlightment, and this may mean having no formal god at all. You can even find truth (which is equal to salvation) through mathematics and science.

Politics

So, to make things worse, we also discussed politics, of sorts, yesterday. Never a good thing.

My wife commented on how Michigan seems to focus too much on the auto industry and should instead look at supporting tourism as a major industry and as a means to lift the state out of its recession. She has lots of good points, and tourism is important (look at Saugatuck!) but I just can't see tourism replacing auto manufacturing as the mainstay of a thriving Michigan.

First, most tourism takes place about seven months out of the year. We say we can enjoy winter, but few people are driving all over the state in blizzards and ice storms to spend cash on a week's vacation. That explains why spring breaks are taken in Florida.

Second, tourism takes place in limited areas. An auto plant can plop anywhere, and its support businesses (parts makers, suppliers) then follow. The shores of Lake Michigan are finite and mostly in private hands. And, once you've seen a Dutch windmill, why go back again?

Third, workers in tourism industries don't make a lot of cash. The best thing about manufacturing (autos or steel or whatever) is that unions fought and got a share of the massive profits involved. This not only democratized (and passified) workers, but it also dumped wealth into the society allowing consumerism to flourish. That's why working class Americans could have a summer cottage, a boat, two or three cars.

Tourism jobs don't pay well and don't have good health benefits and retirement plans. If they did, the workers themselves couldn't afford to visit these places!

So, I act like I know everything and we maintain our disagreements and then agree that it's better to watch "Family Guy" than discuss economics.

Thought: As Peter said when he discovered static electricity: "I am Jesus. Kneel before your lord." ZAP!

Parasites Lost

It was back to work Thursday after having Wednesday off as a comp day (hooray!) and realizing that nothing seems to change.

I walked into a teapot that was in a tempest -- and, at first, none of it had anything to do with me. I was watching the storm from the outside, but getting sucked in nonetheless.

Foreshadowing

Before I got to work, I checked my e-mail and found an odd message from the editor. It was talking about our coverage of the Virginia Tech shootings. It seemed to come out of nowhere, defending how the paper was covering the tragedy. I shrugged my shoulders and headed into work with the innocence of a newborn. Afterall, I've been out of the office for three days. How could I be suspect?

Before I reached the office, I received a broken cell call -- almost out of a bad horror movie -- that the e-mail had some sinister beginning from some staffers' complaints. Again, not the people I supervised, I gathered through the broken static of bad connections. All I needed was a flash of lightning and clap of thunder and this scene would be complete.

Beware! Beware! called the wind in the bare spring trees. Beware!

I strolled into the newsroom and, in the hallway where I hang my coat and hat, a staff member immediately jumped me about a style error in one of her stories. I had e-mailed her about the error -- nothing major, mind you, just a reminder on a technical issue. This conversation devolved into broader topics of accuracy and quality and lasted way too long.

Beware! Beware! called the dripping water fountain. Beware!

From there, the storm intensified with coworkers commenting on that e-mail from earlier in the day, with anecdotes about this and that, with nasty asides and bitter jabs adding to the rising chaos.

I felt the need to lash myself to the mast as the sirens called. I almost made it, then ...

A fellow editor came over and asked if my co-worker, who reports to me, was in. No, I said, she stepped away from her desk. Could I help you? I am her supervisor and have more than 15 years experience in my job here. I am a professional and can play one on TV.

No, he calmly stated. I just wouldn't understand the technical nature of the issue.

He stood at my desk, flipping through the documents on my desk until my co-worker arrived. He then asked her the question -- something I could answer.

No, he said. I just wouldn't understand.

The mast I had clung to snapped and I was washed into the storm.

From there, well, it just swelled and heaved and tossed me around like a tiny ship on a maddening ocean. By the time it was over -- after 2 a.m. -- and the seas calmed, I had been played the fool by my supervisor, insulted by a co-worker, belittled by my environment and made to feel about an inch tall.

When I sulked home in the dead calm that often follows a tumultuous upheaval, I dropped my broken spirit on the couch and turned on the TV for some escape.

I laughed! One of my favorite episodes of "Futurama" was on! The one where Fry eats a sandwich full of worms and those parasites make him a better man. The episode is called "Parasites Lost."

One small scene, where a background worm says, "Whoa, man" as Fry threatens to cut a key brain nerve that controls breathing and heart beat, always cracks me up. (The picture above is of the scene) It didn't fail this time, thank goodness.

All the stupidity and selfishness of the day's hurricane faded away, if just for a moment.

Thought: Back aboard the SS Minnow today.

Adding to the din

I had a chance to go for a short bike ride Wednesday morning -- just about 10 miles because it was so dang cold! We had a northeast wind -- how odd around here. We're used to strong westerlies, especially in the spring.

As I was riding, I had a chance to think about the shootings in Virginia. I was hoping to come to another conclusion, but I didn't, so I'll probably piss you off. My apologies in advance.

The confusion

First, a challenge in this, as in any tragedy, is to see the Atman in all. That is, we need to see the good beneath the bad in all people involved, including the shooter.

Also, the people shot were all victims (a tragedy), but not all heroes (a fact). Let's not be TV news and make martyrs out of everyone.

Second, remember that on the same day (or thereabouts), more than 200 Iraqis were killed in car bombs and execution-style murders thanks to U.S. intervention, and people were murdered in cities including Chicago, Milwaukee, Houston, New York, Los Angeles, Atlanta, Buffalo and Grand Rapids -- and we hardly read anything about them.

Third, and this will be the one that angers you the most, we continue to perpetuate a violent society. Just look at our role in Iraq. U.S. soldiers kill (I still call it murder, by the way) Iraqis daily. The media just calls them "insurgents" so we can dehumanize them.

If the shooter in Virginia had a uniform on and pointed his gun at "insurgents," he'd be a hero. In our society, killing isn't wrong -- it's killing without state authority that is wrong.

So, what does this all mean?

I don't know. I expect I'll spend my entire life searching for the answers to these questions that have plagued humanity since the beginning of time. I don't expect to find those answers, by the way, because there are none. It's the searching that's important, not the discovery.

I do know that the next shooting will be bigger and the gunman or gunwoman will top 32 victims because our society rewards people who do better than others, even in a warped, violent way. I think I can write the headline with words like "rampage," "bloodbath" and "massacre." And you'll read them!

Look at TV news, your online sites and newspapers. Do you know the name "Columbine," even the shooters' names? Do you know the name of the man at Virginia Tech?

If so, he (and the Columbine shooters) have been a success, and we've made it so. They are famous, have risen from obscurity and have followers who recite their names in praise.

Do you know the name of the man or woman who delivers meals to the homebound senior down the street from you? Will their pictures be on the front page of newspapers, or be top hits online, for days at a time? Will there be a five-year anniversary special on their service?

Thought: I can't wait for the wind direction to change.

You know what I mean, Verne?

I finished "Around the World in 80 Days" last night.

I was originally looking for "Journey to the Center of Earth" by Verne, but the library didn't have it, so I grabbed what Fennville had in stock.

The book is an easy read and I read chunks of it in the waiting room of doctors and while waiting for my kids at school. I've always been a Verne fan. His writing makes a great companion to Dickens. Verne is heavy on science and short on prose, while Dickens is heavy on humanity and the flowery language.

This novel is short and its sentence structure bare-bones. It's done well to reflect the main character, Phileas Fogg. Fogg doesn't see the world as a traveller, but as someone out to prove a point. He only varies from his quest to save Aoula from the ritual burning in India, then to save three passengers abducted by Native Americans on the Great Plains.

As a true gentleman, thinking he is penniless, Fogg offers to marry Aoula. She accepts and they then discover that, due to a miscalculation, Fogg has actually won the bet. A happy ending.

Fogg makes an interesting comparison to Dickens' Thomas Gradgrind in "Hard Times." Dickens lets loose on people who believe only fact and have tossed aside fancy to science. Gradgrind realised he made the wrong choice in life with deadly consequences to his family.

Other works

I've also read "From the Earth to the Moon" by Verne. I still want to read "Journey to the Center of the Earth," especially because it's one of my favorite Rick Wakeman albums.

I've seen, in movies, "The Mysterious Island" and, of course, "20,000 Leagues under the Sea."

Thought: It's a whale of a tale. ...

A time to whine

I looked back to see I haven't updated this blog for more than a week. I am behind my time, to quote Bob Cratchitt.

The main reason for my tardiness: I've just been busy.

Prepare for a ride on the wahm-bulance ...

At work, we started a new design for the newspaper, so the stress there has been immense. We did it in three months when it usually takes a year or more. This meant that in three weeks, I had two days off. I was hoping so much to have last Wednesday off, but my boss told me no. I almost had a breakdown. At home, I stomped around angry for a moment and hung my head and just cried tears of self pity. They're just as salty as tears of sorrow, but a bit more bitter.

The weather had been challenging as well. We had some record snowfalls last week and some pretty icy commutes. After having days in the 60s and 70s and being giddy to ride my bike, this cold and snow just hit me like a brick.

Jayne's mom has been ill the last few weeks as well and hasn't been able to do much. She's feeling better now and had some blood work today. She starts some therapy next week.

Jayne's car had engine trouble last week and had trouble starting. We finally had time to get it up to the dealer in Grand Rapids. No one in the Holland area will touch a Kia! It's been sitting there since Wednesday night because we haven't been able to get up to get it (because I've been working!). We're picking it up tonight and will return $300 lighter.

I understand I have a family -- I think I saw some short people under foot the other day. Are those my kids? We finally had a family dinner Sunday after I got home from an afternoon at work (of course) where we all sat at the table together. Who were those people?

Thought: I was hoping for a pity-party.

Oh, the humane-ity!

The kids have been on spring break, but I haven't seen much of them. I've been working a lot because we have one person on the desk on vacation and we're still working on our redesign of the paper.

I had the chance yesterday to take the girls to the Harbor Humane Society in Ottawa County before I went in to work. That's the photo above. Elspeth dropped off the money she collected at her birthday party. We asked people to bring donations for the animals instead of presents.

We got our chocolate Lab, Milo, from this humane society, so the girls were excited to see where Milo came from. They played with the cat that hangs out in the lobby, but were saddened a bit because they couldn't bring home any of the pets.

You can see in the photo that it was cold. Less than a week ago we were in the 60s-70s. On Wednesday, it was about 27 degrees (and we have snow all over today!).

Video game

As I pulled out of the humane society on Bagley Street off U.S. 31, I decided to see what was at the end of Bagley. It was a dirt road and I love exploring dirt roads.

As we bounced down the mud road, we watched as the wind knocked over a 30- to 40-foot tree on our left. It landed with a SMACK, eliciting much excitement from the girls, who saw it fall. Besides dodging the tree and the water-filled holes in the mud, we had to swerve around empty plastic plant pots (used for small shrubs and trees, I gather) as they blew across our path like tumble weed from the nearby nursery. It was as if I was in a video game.

And what was at the end of this dirt road? A "No Outlet" sign (without outlets, how do they get power?) and a "Keep Out" warning. So, I turned around and repeated the video game all over again.

Today is my first day off from work in nine days and the girls have a friend over. I was hoping to take them to the park or for a walk along the river, but it's too cold and snowy.

Back to work tomorrow (I hear the world's smallest violin playing!)

Thought: I need snow tires for my bike.

Play break

Just couldn't resist taking this picture. Elspeth and Alyssa are playing with their Pokemon toys. They created a village out of their My Little Pony castle and other props.

All this before 9:30 a.m. I can't believe I'm awake!

I'm just glad they can play without TV or Game Boys, even if it is Pokemon.

No sense of humor

The newspaper where I work ran an April Fools' Day page in its Sunday paper in honor of April 1. All I can say, really, is that no matter how good the humor seems to be, running fake stories in a newspaper just rubs me the wrong way.

A newspaper lives and dies by its credibility. Joke stories, even when bleedin' obvious to the reader, put a seed of doubt in the readers' minds about the paper's honesty. If the paper can make this up, a reader might say, then it can certainly make up other information like, say, budget figures, crime statistics or police reports.

Now, this doesn't mean that a paper shouldn't print satire, for example. This type of writing, a la Swift's "A Modest Proposal," has a place. It's called the Editorial page. Clearly marked as Opinion, these pages are perfect for comments and views.

I also retain a distaste for April Fools' Day antics because I was the focus of some in college. The fraternity-staffed newspaper did an edition of the paper and modeled it after Pravda. I was, unfortunately, a large part of the it (and I wasn't consulted so the nasty attacks came as a surprise to me that day!).

All that was part of the physical threats, the vandalism of the college newspaper office (we now call that malicious destruction of property, probably a misdemeanor) and having my dorm room door burned (nowadays, we call that arson and is a felony) that came from fraternity folks at the college. Looking back, I should have filed police reports with the real police, not the college.

Thought: To quote a fellow newspaper person: "Hindsight is 50-50."