Priorities?

My wife and I were in bed the other night. She was watching the movie "A Few Good Men" and I was drifting off to sleep. See, we're married.

During a commercial, she flipped through the stations.

"Oh," she says. "Here's a naked woman watching something on TV and she's about to masturbate."

I don't move. My eyes are shut and I'm drifting off to sleep.

The channels flip.

"Oh," she says. "Here's Meat Loaf and he's singing. ..."

I bolt up in bed, but can't see the TV because I don't have my glasses on. I reach for my glasses in a hurry and knock over everything on my night stand. My glasses fall to the floor along with a a flashlight, my alarm clock and whatever else was piled on the table. I can't see what's going on (duh!) so I'm running my hand over the carpet in a desperate attempt not to break my glasses (I was making a spectacle of myself!).

I finally stumble on my specs, get them righted on my face and turn to the TV. Was Meat Loaf singing "Paradise by the Dashboard Lights"?

No. It was over. I missed it.

I laid back down, questioning my priorities.

Thought: Maybe he was singing "Two Out of Three Ain't Bad"?