That's sports

Imagine a nasal, squeaky voice on the low-quality local AM radio station giving the morning sports report. At the end, this announcer signs off with, “That’s sports.” Now, imagine him saying “sports” as if someone had just yanked his underwear in an atomic wedgie. It haunts me. I used to listen to this guy because it was part of my job. That’s a chore I’m glad is gone.

But I’ve been thinking about sports because of my lack of activity. I’ve been ill the last few weeks and haven’t been able to get to the gym to work out.

No, I’m not bench pressing and curling. I ride the bicycle and do the elliptical walker to build my legs and heart. I found this is a great way to be prepared for bicycling in the spring. Last year, I worked out through the winter and felt fantastic the minute I hit the road in March. This year doesn’t look so promising.

Olympics

I’ve also been thinking about sports because I’ve been inundated with images from the Olympics. As you could guess, I’m not a fan. The Olympics embodies many things I find repulsive – egoism, nationalism and greed.

Note: I don’t mind professional sports because these are about entertainment. Football, hockey and the Tour de France are like watching a movie. Those people get big bucks and big backing (like Lance Armstrong) to entertain me, to give me a good game I can talk about the day after (and I feel kind of dirty even being part of that!). The Olympics, though, dons a garb of history and puts on airs like it’s better than anything else. So, back to the Olympics:

First, the games aren’t fair. There’s a reason certain countries do well and it’s not because their people are better than anybody else. It’s about money and, to a lesser degree, geography.

Second, I hate nationalism. I despise flag-waving jingoism, which is what the games are about. It’s the same thing that leads to wars and the denigration of races and cultures.

Third, the Olympics is about competition. Competition makes me ill. Why must someone be the best at skating? Or luge? I don’t understand the need to stroke the ego with a gold medal, with media attention, for such trivial things. Why can’t the events be about cooperation? That’s much better than competition, but certainly harder to sell to corporations and to wave a flag about. Can you see a stadium full of people screaming, waving foam fingers and chanting “U.S.A.” because a group of people managed to end hunger in Sub-Saharan Africa with an equitable food distribution system?

Thought: From George Harrison’s “Faster,” about a race car driver:

Now he moved into the space

That the special people share

Right on the edge of do or die

Where there is nothing left to spare.

Still the crowds came pouring in

Some had hoped to see him fail

Filling their hearts with jealousies

Crazy people with love so frail.