Heat Miser

Family and friends in Texas can start laughing now. In fact, since you're in a different time zone, you're already laughing at what I'm about to say -- It's been too hot here in Michigan. We topped 90 degrees over the Memorial Day weekend.

Any outdoor temperature more than 85 degrees I consider equatorial and just plain wrong for the Great Lakes. Perhaps it's because I grew up in Buffalo that I prefer the cooler temperatures -- I'm really a late-fall kind of guy, you know, jeans and flannel.

When my wife and I visited friends in Houston, I got majorly ill the first day because of the heat and humidity. Then, when, years later, we went to a friend's wedding in Dallas, I again got sick the first day.

One extremely hot summer, I was doing the dishes and just complaining the entire time about the heat, about sweat dripping in my eyes and how I couldn't sleep or -- the worst -- drink coffee because it was like a gazillion degrees in the house. My wife, tired of my whining, grabbed me and dragged me to Wal-Mart to buy an air conditioner. This tells you how much I hate heat -- I'd rather go to Wal-Mart and spend money than deal with the heat.

As you could guess about this weekend, I was ill because of the heat Sunday and Monday. Sunday was my normal headache kind of day with the added annoyance of sweat.

Side note: Almost every Sunday, I have a massive headache, body aches and nausea. I attribute this to a release of stress from work. After 50-55 hours in a tension-filled job where any mistake I make could lead to my termination, I get pretty uptight by week's end. I think my body is just releasing the anger and frustration. My family has somehow learned to live with the monster I am when my shift is over.

By Sunday night, after much medication and some cat naps, I recovered my sanity. But Monday, well, the sickness was due to the heat.

The family attended the Saugatuck Memorial Day parade in the morning. Elspeth marched with her Girl Scout friend. Upon returning, I did some more work in the garden, planting the tomatoes and peppers. I also planted starwberries and raspberries around the house.

Stupid.

I was in pain from the heat -- it didn't matter that I drank gallons of water and Gator-Aid -- and had to rest most of the afternoon to become coherent again. I finally started feeling better again about 5 p.m. or so after more massive doses of medication and more liquid.

And so, today is again going to be unseasonably hot and humid. It's not even 8:30 a.m. and it's already 72-plus degrees with thunderstorms and I'm feeling weak. How many weeks until Christmas?

Thought: Global warming sucks.